


my fevered heart can't let you go | ringsy

by lockedinmybody



Category: Unter Uns
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ex Sex, Fluff, Heartache, Love, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 21:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15567159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedinmybody/pseuds/lockedinmybody
Summary: it's their second breakup, but they can't stay away from each other, nor can they keep their hands to themselves. at some point, something's got to give.





	my fevered heart can't let you go | ringsy

**Author's Note:**

> There is some sexual content in this, but it's not very explicit.  
> As always, please let me know what you thought, either in the comments or on my [tumblr](https://softlofty.tumblr.com/) :) It's very much appreciated!

It’s weird being broken up again with the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your days with. Easy thought they had fixed most of their previous problems. They put in the work, both him and Ringo facing some difficult conversations that needed to happen. Sure, they weren’t perfect, but they worked, _somehow_. Even amongst their friends they were the couple that beat the odds, and Easy liked it that way. Liked being the person who understood Ringo like no one else. Liked being that special person in Ringo’s life, a place that had always been vacant until he showed up. 

And it’s the second time, which is somehow both better and worse. It’s no less painful or aching, and even though they’ve been through this before, neither one of them feels like they were prepared in any way.  
The first time they had tried to give their relationship a go it had been doomed from the start, Ringo’s betrayal hanging over their heads until it all inevitably came crashing down.  
They had their distance, their time apart, and when they found themselves in the same place at the same time it had felt right. They had been more sure of themselves, more committed to one another.

Easy gets tired of the conversations with his friends as soon as he has had one. The shocked faces which then turn to an apologetic embrace, eyes softened around the edges but Easy sees it in all of them: _you knew this was coming at some point, didn’t you?_  
Elli shrugs at him, clearly noticing his upset but not enough for her to just hug him and say nothing, which, as Easy quickly discovers, is what he needs. “Maybe you don’t fit that well together after all.” It’s the sentiment he finds with anyone he discusses the topic with, and it hits him how quick they all are to side with him. Perhaps Easy was the one who doomed them this time, from the first moment alert and cautious, waiting for Ringo to trip up and make a mistake. 

It’s Saskia who squeezes his hand and looks genuinely sorry. “I really hoped it would work out,” she says to him, and he thanks her, blinking away tears until he’s alone in his own room and lets them fall until they run dry.  
He accidentally sees Ringo that night. He’d been tossing and turning in bed for two hours after already getting into bed late, when he gives up, tugging on a pair of sweatpants and quietly making his way up the stairs, to the top of the building. The wind is cold and harsh against his face, but it doesn’t matter. The hairs on his arm stand up straight, and his mind wanders, remnants of a smiling Ringo passing through, the two of them on their way back home from a date, Ringo rolling his eyes at a shivering Easy but taking his coat off nonetheless and wrapping it around him.

The door creaks open and Easy has already turned his head at the sound when Ringo stops mid-step, frozen in place as he stares at Easy. He looks back at Ringo, feeling that familiar pull in his gut that wants to step closer, wrap his arms around his waist and lean up to kiss him. It takes him a second to realise he can’t do that anymore, and the heartache hits him all over again.  
Ringo looks around, mumbling under his breath and looking just as uncomfortable and out of place as Easy feels. “I-I should,” Ringo mutters before taking a deep breath and looking at Easy, “I’ll go.”  
He’s already pulled the door open halfway when Easy stops him. “You don’t have to.”

Ringo stands there for a moment, then lets the door fall closed as he walks towards Easy, both leaning against the brick wall, looking out over the city.  
“Couldn’t sleep?” Ringo asks quietly. Easy shakes his head, keeping his eyes in front of him. He immediately thinks of nights they’ve shared before, of walking into the kitchen for a glass of water only to have Ringo following him five minutes later, rubbing his eyes as he squints against the dimmed lighting, coming to stand behind Easy, dropping a kiss behind his ear, on the back of his neck and his shoulder, soft low voice asking him if he’s coming back to bed, what’s keeping him awake.

Easy doesn’t know what’s worse, the fact that Ringo is so intertwined in his life and heart that he pops up everywhere, or that Ringo might not have these kinds of thoughts about him _at all_.  
“How have you been,” Ringo says when Easy stays silent, and Easy turns his head so fast that Ringo flinches and cowers. Any urge to ask Ringo why he would ask such a stupid question fades away. There is so clearly something broken between them, and any interaction now feels clunky and off. Easy doesn’t know how to put them back together. Doesn’t know how to put himself back together. “I’m going back to bed,” Easy says, voice just above a whisper, and he takes one last look at Ringo before leaving.

***

He’s working on some photos when Tobias cracks. His roommate had been wisely empathetic and reserved when Easy came home two weeks ago and simply said, “we broke up.” The last thing Easy was in the mood for was a lecture from his now ex-boyfriend’s brother about how they were never a good match to begin with, and apparently it showed because Tobias simply hugged him and told him that if he needed anything he just had to say so. But Easy hadn’t told Tobias why they broke up, and their friends didn’t really know either. 

“Did Ringo cheat on you?” Easy looks at Tobias over his laptop and then focuses back on his screen. “No.” Tobias narrows his eyes, laying an arm across the back of his chair opposite Easy. “Are you sure?” Easy sighs deeply, lowering the top of his laptop a little so he can look Tobias in the eye.  
“Ringo was trying to get a deal for Huber, and the guy he was trying to get on board apparently wanted a date with me, and Ringo agreed,” Tobias frowns and then his eyes widen. “Without telling me, of course. And that’s coming from the guy who went along with his boss’ demands of no gay stuff in the workplace and anywhere you can be seen.” Easy finishes, the weight of his words dropping in his chest. 

It didn’t feel like the Ringo he knows, or thought he knew. He really had thought he’d changed.  
Easy huffs a bitter laugh. “He was actually jealous, you know. That business guy showed interest in me, and I cut off all contact once I realised it bothered Ringo. Only to find out afterwards that he actually wanted to use it to secure the deal.” He rolls his eyes, the irritation now seeping through. “Always focused on his career.”  
Tobias presses his lips together. Easy nods at him. “What, no I told you so’s?” Tobias gives him a small smile and stands up, placing a hand on Easy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Easy looks up at him and sees nothing but genuine sympathy in his face, and he smiles gratefully through watery eyes. 

Tobias lets him be after that, and once the evening rolls around Easy realises how much emptier his life is going to be without Ringo. He’s got time in spades now and he doesn’t know what to do with it. Well, he does, but all his plans involve Ringo. It’s like every habit and impulse contain some sort of trace of Ringo, and it hasn’t fully sunk in that he doesn’t have him anymore.

He ends up in Schiller, tucked away in a corner where he feels more out of sight. Ute gives him a third beer, despite knowing he’s already been served two by a different waitress, and a fourth. Easy doesn’t look her in the eye when she sets them down, not wanting to find out if there’s pity in them.  
The alcohol doesn’t have the numbing effect he desires but he does feel hazy enough that going to bed seems like a feasible option. 

As soon as Easy’s outside, he makes the decision to take a walk. The crisp air feels good, and it might make him fall asleep faster if he tires himself out a little.  
When he walks past the Turnhalle his eye falls on a strip of light coming from under the door. Easy pulls his phone out of his pocket just to make sure, but it is definitely way past closing time.  
He’s already pushing the door handle down before he can really think about it, and when he peeks inside he sees Ringo, furiously pounding and kicking against a punching bag, feet and chest bare, his face red and covered in a light sheen.  
Easy sees the way Ringo’s chest heaves up and down, and Ringo stops for a moment, sucking in a gulp of air and bending over, hands on his knees as he struggles to stand upright.  
Instinct takes over and Easy walks inside, letting the door fall shut behind him and approaching Ringo. “Hey, hey,” Easy loosens the boxing gloves on Ringo’s hands and takes them off, tossing them on the ground before grabbing onto Ringo’s sides and straightening his back. 

Once Ringo’s fully standing up Easy can properly see his face, see the way he’s sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, eyes welling up with tears as he shudders on his breath. Easy still has his hands around the sides of Ringo’s torso, and when his body convulses on a sob and he stumbles forward Easy lets him fall onto him, arms enclosing him. Ringo folds over, leaning his head on Easy’s shoulder as Easy leans up on his tiptoes to embrace him. There’s quiet muffled sniffling and then he slowly pulls back, shifting his weight backwards. When Easy looks up at his face it’s the open, more vulnerable Ringo he knows, the one only he got to see every now and then. Ringo looks back at him, and after a beat his eyes avert, he sniffs and drags a hand over his face, and Easy can see Ringo pulling himself together right there in front of him.

“I-uhm,” Ringo starts, blinking repeatedly as he takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”  
Easy tuts lightly out of habit. “Don’t be silly.” But the way Ringo looks at him, all closed off and distant, makes Easy wonder if they will always need more distance than this. Maybe Easy doesn’t get to do this anymore, doesn’t get to be the person who picks up the pieces when Ringo doesn’t know how. Maybe they can’t handle being close but not together. Easy had tried to use the prospect of just Ringo’s friendship as something to soften the blow with, but as he looks at Ringo he thinks of a thousand things he wants to do and none of them are going home. 

“You can’t do this,” Easy says, and Ringo’s eyes flicker. “I won’t let you run yourself into the ground,” Easy says, arms spread wide, hearing the desperation in his own voice. Ringo gives him a weak smile as he clears his throat, his hair laying flat, the wet tips of it sticking to his forehead, his cheeks angrily flushed and in that moment, he looks so childlike, so far from the confident striking Ringo Easy knows.  
He stands there for a while, just looking at Ringo who keeps bouncing his eyes around the room, tilting his head up every now and then as he blinks away tears. 

“Please just go, Easy,” Ringo rasps through a closed-up throat. Easy can feel the concern tugging at him, urging him to do something. He hates this, because he knows what happens. He’s been there for the nightmares, the anniversaries, the nights where Ringo told him he wanted to be alone only to crawl into Easy’s bed at three in the morning, clammy hands frantically searching for his own, his face pressed into the crook of Easy’s neck as Easy rubbed his back.  
He had to earn Ringo’s trust, had learned to appreciate it for the valuable thing it is, truly realised what it meant when Ringo had sat down on the couch next to him, an unusually nervous look on his face and a thick photo album in his lap, going through every memory both painful and happy, and sharing it with Easy. Ringo had allowed him to be on the inside, and Easy didn’t want to be out. Not then and not now, even with blaring alarm bells going off inside his head.

“I can’t leave you like this,” Easy says, biting the inside of his cheek as he looks at Ringo. He puts one foot forward, debates going outside after all but then steps all the way, coming to stand in front of Ringo and gently holding his face with both hands. “Please don’t, I-“ Ringo presses his lips together and squeezes his eyes closed. A moment passes and Easy is about to let go when Ringo leans into him, knocking his own forehead against Easy’s and breathing out on a long exhale.  
His eyes are closed and the muscles in his face are relaxed, every angry and contorted line now gone. Easy almost hates the thought that he has that effect on Ringo.

He can feel Ringo’s breath puffing against his lips, and Ringo angles his head, nose brushing against Easy’s cheek. Ringo’s eyes flick up to his, and Easy nods, just barely, and Ringo’s lips catch his own.  
Easy had always found Ringo attractive, even when he hated his guts. They worked well together, falling into one another and enjoying an intimacy that was filled with so much love. A somewhat surly Ringo had turned out to be an affectionate and tactile boyfriend, one who didn’t shy away from casual touches and stolen kisses in public. Easy had never been with anyone where being physically close gave him so much pleasure and peace.

Ringo’s mouth is as soft as he remembers it, and it immediately feels so good that any care for how bad of an idea this is flies out the window. He grabs onto Ringo’s upper arms, lets his fingers glide over the muscle there and it’s like Ringo realises that this is actually happening and Easy isn’t pulling back, and he holds one arm over Easy’s shoulders and another around Easy’s waist.  
There’s desperate little noises falling from Ringo’s mouth and it only makes Easy want him more, wanting that closeness and that connection, for them to remember that they don’t always just hurt each other, that they used to also be able to glue themselves back together.

Easy pushes his tongue inside of Ringo’s mouth and Ringo groans in response, letting his knees buckle and taking Easy down with him, his back hitting the thick gym mat with a muffled thud.  
He’s laying on top of Ringo now, feeling straight away that he’s just as aroused as himself.  
Easy can feel his heartbeat in his throat, greedily kissing Ringo as he glides his hands over Ringo’s chest, Ringo’s teeth lightly biting Easy’s lip. His head is spinning as he pulls back a little, attaching his mouth to Ringo’s neck and kissing the skin, delicately sucking every now and then. “Fuck,” he hears Ringo whisper above him, and as Easy continues to kiss down Ringo’s chest he holds the back of Easy’s head, his fingers brushing through the hair. 

Easy reaches the top of Ringo’s shorts, and he pulls on the material, but Ringo places a hand under Easy’s chin and pulls him up, sliding their mouths together in a kiss that feels dirty, something that makes Ringo’s intention clear.  
“I just,” Ringo holds Easy’s hips with his hands and pulls him close, their crotches touching, “want you.” Easy can feel his face heat up but he’s past caring, rolling his hips just to see how it feels and when Ringo’s eyes roll back Easy leans down and kisses him deeply, moving his hips against Ringo’s as they push into each other, speeding their movements up as they chase their climax.

When they still, and the heat of the moment slowly dissipates, Easy rolls off Ringo, laying on his back next to him. He stares at the ceiling, seeing Ringo’s chest heave up and down in his peripheral vision, nothing to hear except their breathing and the distant noise of people laughing outside.  
Everything Easy wants to do is something he can’t do. To roll on his side, looking at Ringo and following the lines on his stomach with his finger, Ringo’s eyes falling shut and Easy then crawling over him, pressing a kiss to his lips with the promise of sleep after they’ve had a shower.  
There’s no room for teasing comments, fond looks and simple loving kisses. 

“I should go,” Ringo says quietly next to him, and Easy suddenly feels so overcome with the weight of not having Ringo anymore, not fully, not getting to have everything Ringo can give him instead of just sex, that he stands up before Ringo does, taking a shallow breath before looking down at Ringo. He looks loose-limbed and sated. He looks fucking beautiful. And Easy doesn’t want to go. “I’ll go,” Easy whispers, turning on his heel and quickly making his way through the door. 

***  
It’s not long after that when Easy realises how difficult it is going to be to completely avoid Ringo. Because that’s what he feels he must do now, a complete cleanse of anything remotely connected to him. It’s like they separated with an understanding that they didn’t fit together like they used to, only to fall back in line, effortlessly picking up the rhythm in perfect harmony. The more Easy thinks about it the more he wishes he hadn’t found out that that special place only him and Ringo know still exists. Sure, it had been a little awkward afterwards, but Ringo’s touch still made Easy’s heart sing, every thrust of Ringo’s hips more addictive than the last, leaving Easy wanting more. But they can never be like that again.

In the first week after their breakup Tobias didn’t ask Easy to get dinner once, but now they’re at a point where Tobias asks if he _wants_ to go to the supermarket, “It’ll be good to get out for a little bit,” Easy declining the offer multiple times but he knows he can’t keep doing that much longer. Easy didn’t tell him about what happened between him and Ringo at the gym, not wanting to deal with Tobias’s undoubted criticism of Easy’s life choices and still being far too confused about the whole thing to even know how to talk about it. 

It’s difficult not to think about Ringo, especially whilst knowing and having seen first-hand that Ringo is struggling, just like Easy. Easy wants to take care of Ringo, just like he did when they were together. It had taken time and effort for them to get to a place where Ringo would find comfort in being close with Easy when he was upset or when something was bothering him, and it’s taking every ounce of Easy’s self-control to not go see Ringo and make sure he’s alright. 

“I’m not going to get groceries, we’ll just order something,” Easy immediately says when Tobias emerges from his bedroom. “Actually,” Tobias walks over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine, “Paco texted me if we wanted to have dinner at theirs.” Easy gives him a pointed look and Tobias smiles at him in a way that says, ‘do you really think I didn’t think this through?’. “Obviously, Ringo won’t be joining us.” Easy pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks the time. If he insists on having take-out with just the two of them, it’s going to take a while before they can eat. Hunger wins over his nerves of being amongst his friends, and so they end up at the dinner table in the flat share. 

Elli immediately uncorks the bottle of wine Tobias brought along, and she gives Easy a friendly smile as she pours him a glass. Paco and Saskia are also there, and Easy is a lot more relaxed than he thought he would be. They sit and talk at the table long after they’ve eaten the food, and Easy laughs more than he’s done in a while. And though his friends don’t even mention his name, it’s like the ghost of Ringo hovers at his shoulder. _I would have laughed at that joke. I would have dropped an arm over the back of your chair by now, laying it across your shoulders after you turned your head sideways and smiled at me. I would have caught your eye in the middle of Tobias’ story and I would have winked at you with a reassuring smile_. It’s like his brain is so adjusted to having Ringo around that he fills in the gaps that have appeared since their breakup. 

Because there is something missing, and Easy once again concludes that Ringo adds something not only to his life, but to his friends’ lives. Easy admires the way Ringo has become more open with his care for others, no longer settling for a life alone but willing to work on and invest in friendships and relationships.

Easy ends up still sitting at the table late at night with Elli, Tobias and Saskia having both left to get a good night’s sleep and Paco also getting ready for bed.  
He’s telling her about a customer he had at the kiosk, one that had asked for a cappuccino and when Easy handed it over refused to take it because he was sure he had ordered a latte, when Elli’s phone screen lights up. _Ringo Beckmann: Are they gone yet? It sounds quiet_. Elli sees Easy staring at her phone on the table, and when Easy meets her eyes she looks apologetic.  
“He’s here?” Easy asks, already feeling more tense than before. “I’m sorry, he made me swear not to say anything. He’s upstairs in his room. Has been since this afternoon.” Elli says.  
Easy frowns. “Did he not have dinner?” Elli winces slightly. “He hasn’t been eating that much lately.”

It takes him a few seconds but by the time Easy asks himself if this is really a good idea he’s already decided. He takes a deep breath before looking at Elli. “Do you think he’ll kick me out if I go up to his room?” Elli gives him a soft knowing smile and shrugs. “It’s worth a try.”  
Easy grabs an apple from the bowl of fruit and quietly makes his way up the spiral staircase, standing in front of Ringo’s door and knocking immediately so as not to give himself a chance to back out. This needs to happen. He needs to know that there are people who care about him and who are looking out for him, and Easy fears he might the one person who has a shot of getting through to him. He hates that he can see Ringo regress and he doesn’t have the luxury to not care or not do something about it, not when it’s Ringo. Not when his heart still belongs to him. Not when he knows more than anyone what Ringo can be like when he’s punishing himself. 

Ringo opens the door just a bit, eyes widening when he sees it’s Easy. “What are you doing here?” He asks, voice raspy and quiet. Easy opens his mouth to say something but then closes it again, lips pressed together as he realises he doesn’t really have an adequate answer to that question. Telling Ringo all his reasons would involve admitting he still cares, a lot, and though Easy doubts it’s something Ringo doesn’t already know, saying it out loud might cross a line.  
He shrugs, willing himself not to turn around and leave. It’s like he has to win Ringo over, all over again. “Wanted to see if you’re okay.” Ringo gives him a nod at that and steps back, opening the door to let Easy in. 

Easy’s already almost sitting down on Ringo’s bed when he stands again, opting for the office chair at his desk instead. “I brought you this,” Easy puts the apple on Ringo’s desk as Ringo sits down on the edge of his bed, facing Easy. He looks tired, bags under his eyes and his face a pale complexion. Ringo looks at the apple with a frown. “What’s that for?” Easy rolls his eyes at him, reminiscent of a time when Easy would drop by the Huber offices despite hating the place, dangling a bag of take out in front of Ringo’s face when he would have been working late, time long forgotten, and a meal break long overdue. It’s one of the things that make it difficult for Easy, not knowing if Ringo has let those things go now that they’re not together anymore, that in his mind there’s no use doing those things if he’s not doing them for Easy. From what he can tell, Ringo doesn’t care anymore.

“Eat it. You look like you need it.” Easy tells him, but Ringo stays where he is, a hardened look on his face. “You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.” Easy snorts. “As if you ever listened to me before.” This time Ringo rolls his eyes and looks away for a moment. “Did you come here for this? To see for yourself if my life is really falling apart when I don’t have you?” Ringo snipes.  
“Do you really think that’s what this is?” Easy says, voice raised in angry disbelief, “is it really that impossible that I can’t stand to see you like this even though we’ve broken up?”  
“I _can_ actually function like a normal human being Easy, I’m not completely helpless without you!” Ringo shouts. Easy slumps a little, fear swirling in his gut as Ringo’s words wash over him.

“That’s what you miss more, isn’t it,” Ringo says quietly as he looks at Easy, “you miss taking care of me more than you miss being with me.” “No.” Easy immediately rebukes, shaking his head.  
“I, I miss you,” Easy’s voice shakes, “just you.” Ringo looks at him, just looks at Easy’s face in this intense way that he only remembers from moments when Ringo would tell their friends some bullshit excuse about other plans only to drag Easy away, his hand tightly clutched in Easy’s and a promise on his lips as they made their way back home.  
Then Ringo stands up, walks towards Easy and ducks his head down in one fluid move, his big hands covering both sides of Easy’s face as he leans in and kisses him. Easy promptly stands up, kissing Ringo back fervently and throwing an arm around Ringo’s shoulders, trying to get closer. He places a hand on Ringo’s chest, sliding it down over the thin fabric of Ringo’s shirt. Ringo stops for a moment, lips still close enough that they brush against Easy’s as he whispers. “I want you.” Easy’s mouth curves into a smile. “I want you too.”

His hands are tugging on Ringo’s shirt and then it lands on the floor, Ringo falling back onto his bed and Easy climbing over him, slowly and languidly kissing him as his hand travels over Ringo’s chest. Ringo folds his arms over Easy’s neck, holding him close as Easy kisses every part of his face and throat, the moment more loving and sweet than it should be. But Easy takes one quick look at Ringo before moving his mouth down his chest and sees Ringo has his eyes closed, a blissful look on his face as he lets out a soft content sigh, and Easy’s heart feels like it’s doubling in size, completely overcome with the love and affection he feels for this man, and he comes to the conclusion that there is no other way for him and Ringo to be than like this, the love and care they carry for each other seeping into everything they do. 

Ringo hooks a foot over Easy’s legs, flipping him over and leaning over him, elbows on either side of Easy’s head. Easy looks up at him, sees nothing but awe and love in Ringo’s gaze and feels his cheeks heat up. As Ringo kisses him, his hands stroking Easy’s arms and torso in a manner that is way too gentle and loving for two people who are not together anymore, Easy’s mind travels, reminds him that he can’t just have Ringo like this, that he will always need _everything_ of Ringo, his heart too entangled with his, the centre of his gravity that gives Easy an equilibrium in his life, ensures a stability that makes him know in his heart that everything will be okay. He feels it in his bones as Ringo kisses down his stomach, Easy’s eyes closing as he gets engulfed in pleasure, savouring the tight grip of Ringo’s hands on his hips. Ringo’s mouth takes him to the edge and all the way back, only tipping him over it once there’s nothing to hear except Easy gasping desperate pleas, Ringo’s name falling from his lips over and over again.

When Easy wakes up he’s in Ringo’s bed, alone. He looks around the room and only sees his own clothes tossed carelessly onto the floor, any other evidence of what happened last night nowhere to be seen. Easy puts on his clothes from yesterday, and when he sits down on the edge of Ringo’s bed to put his socks on, his eye falls on the apple still sitting on Ringo’s desk, untouched.  
There is no one downstairs, and Easy is relieved to be able to slip out without anyone noticing or asking prying questions.  
Tobias has already left for work when Easy gets back home, and there’s a note on the table from his roommate asking if Easy could go grocery shopping. Easy decides he needs a shower and a change of clothes first, and he sneaks in a quick breakfast as well before heading out. He works a two-hour shift at the kiosk, but it’s not busy enough to stop the thoughts running through his head, the occasional coffee and bottle of water sold on autopilot. 

It feels like he has two choices, asking Ringo to be with him again, or fully breaking up, no going back for anything. Not being with Ringo seems impossible, the past month after their ‘breakup’ being case in point. It’s like they naturally gravitate towards each other, always ending up in the same spot. But Easy knows they broke up for a reason, and he can’t ignore that either. That hurt, and that pain is still there. But if he has to go through that with anyone, he wants it to be Ringo. The only place he could find refuge is in the person who burnt the house down. 

He’s still mulling over his thoughts when he gets back home, opening the door to his apartment only to find Ringo sitting on his couch, head bowed, and eyes focused on his hands in his lap. Easy stops. “Uhm. Hi?” Ringo looks up at him. “Hey.”  
Easy hangs his jacket over the back of one of the chairs, leaning against the table and crossing his arms. “Did you want to talk, or?”  
Ringo nervously picks at his nails, biting his lip as he eventually looks up at Easy. “I can’t do this anymore.” Easy gives him a questioning look. “This,” Ringo gestures to the space between himself and Easy, “is too much. I know there was a time when sex was all I wanted when it came to relationships, but I can’t handle sleeping with you. It needs to stop.”

Easy can feel himself choking up, swallowing heavily to try and steady himself. He’d spent all day worrying about what to do, but it seems like Ringo just made his choice for him. “Okay. If that’s what you want.” Ringo nods firmly, but then his face kind of falls as he holds Easy’s gaze.  
“Is… is it not what you want?” Ringo asks hesitantly. The words are threatening to spill out but Easy knows it is neither the place nor the time. There will probably never be a right time.  
“It doesn’t matter.” Easy shakes his head with a small smile, knowing Ringo can see the shimmer of moisture in his eyes like he always can.  
“Easy, if there’s something you want to say, you should say it. You can tell me anything.” Ringo says slowly, but Easy can see him getting more tense as they edge closer to where Easy swore he wouldn’t go. Easy shrugs. “You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?”

Ringo stays silent for a moment, doesn’t move from the couch and makes no attempt to leave.  
Easy stays where he is, hating every second of this as it passes, biting the inside of his cheek whilst he tries not to let the tears flow.  
“Why did you sleep with me?” Ringo says then, gaze more concentrated as he looks at Easy. Easy looks back at him, because he can’t not. _I love you. I love you. I love you_.  
“Because I wanted to,” Easy says, voice thick with emotion, echoing what they had both said to each other those nights, and he sees Ringo’s face fill with disappointment, so he keeps talking, “because I wanted anything that you would give me. Because I still want you,” he can feel his heart beat fiercely in his chest, “all of you.”

Ringo looks raw and like he’s been broken open, and Easy walks towards him, sits down on the coffee table so he’s directly facing Ringo, his knees touching Ringo’s. Easy sniffs a little, wiping at his eyes before leaning over and grabbing Ringo’s hands from his lap and holding them in his own.  
“I can’t keep doing this either. Just sleeping with you. Because there’s so much more that I feel for you, and I can’t keep those things separated. And I don’t want to.” Easy gives Ringo a watery smile. 

“I know we’ve both done plenty of things wrong, and we hurt each other more than we’d like, but I keep coming back to the fact that I am willing to work on this. On us,” Easy squeezes their hands together, “because I think we can work this out. I think we’re strong enough to get through this.”  
Ringo looks dazedly at Easy, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing, and he doesn’t really know what to do with it. “I can’t promise you I won’t do something stupid again.”  
Easy gives him a reassuring nod. “I know. And neither can I. But the love I feel for you is bigger than all of that.” Ringo’s eyes widen slightly at that, and Easy gives him a soft smile, raising a hand to Ringo’s cheek, lightly stroking the back of it over the side of Ringo’s face.  
“I love you. And as long as I know that you love me too, and you are in this 100%, I’ll be okay.”

Ringo’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, drinking in Easy’s words with great relish. When his eyes open again he smiles at Easy, teeth showing, and his eyes look more alight and vibrant than Easy has seen them in a while. Ringo leans closer, gently pressing his lips against Easy’s in a kiss that feels soft and loving. When they come away Easy feels like he’s floating, as if this was his first kiss with Ringo, and now that he’s had a taste he can’t get enough.  
“I love you. More than anything. And I’m sorry that I don’t always put you first like I should. But I will make it up to you for the rest of my days if you’ll let me,” Ringo says, and Easy grins at him, giddy with the feeling of being with the person he loves the most, the one he can’t imagine his life without.

“I love you,” Easy repeats just because he can, and Ringo tugs on his hands, pulls Easy in until he’s sitting on top of Ringo, one knee on either side of him, and Ringo hugs him close, arms tightly locked around his waist as Easy kisses his cheek before pressing his face into Ringo’s neck.  
Ringo lets out this big long sigh, and Easy can feel how they’re both more settled now. Easy is about to pull away when Ringo holds him close. “Can we stay like this for a bit?” Easy smiles at him lovingly.  
“Of course. We can stay like this forever.”


End file.
